step 38: back-to-school blogging
It has only been the third day of class, and already I am up doing work well into the night. And now I am…blogging? Clearly, I am struggling to find a routine to snuggle into.
Without a rhythm, it feels like I’ve spent the past week and a half waiting for the other shoe to drop — waiting for a moment when I can take a breath, when I can close my eyes without my mind racing to compile a list of tasks to next take care of. It pains me that in this craziness, aBAD has been a straggling project, ever since I have gotten back to St. Louis. Its not that I don’t have anything to say. Returns are just like departures, in that they are full of stories.
But in a way, there is a reason for all this, though not an excuse. Because wedged in the moments of blurred time, dusty unpacking, and new-year anxiety are also moments like this:
When everyone has arrived in town and the group congregates around a hearty dinner table for the first time, there is nothing but smiles and sparkles in the eyes all around. Everyone leans forward, not quite touching, but close enough to anchor one another, each tied to the words of recounted funny episodes, big news, and juicy tidbits of gossip. Around this lifeline snakes a golden thread of general cheer and warm fuzziness. Good food, good company. Even good beer (cider).
In moments like these, as sad as it might make me in retrospect, I’m glad I didn’t break away at the end of the night to my computer. It is a great thing to write daily and sping stories and practice being a better writer. But it’s also simply wonderful to cling to the pleasures of feeling of fullness, in life, and to savor the taste of friendship till the last lingering moments of the day.
